Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives. -Andy Rooney Teacher
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. -Andy Rooney Chance
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. -Andy Rooney Computers
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. -Andy Rooney Christmas
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread. -Andy Rooney Respect
I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting. -Andy Rooney Food
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread. -Andy Rooney Government
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe. -Andy Rooney Truth
Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads. -Andy Rooney Computers
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. -Andy Rooney Technology
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment. -Andy Rooney Sad
