Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions. -Dave Barry Technology
I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories. -Dave Barry Sad
Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down. -Dave Barry Car
The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number. -Dave Barry Age
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers. -Dave Barry Religion
I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems. -Dave Barry Car
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. -Dave Barry Christmas
I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. -Dave Barry Computers
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. -Dave Barry Travel
It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money. -Dave Barry Money
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print. -Dave Barry Religion
Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep. -Dave Barry Saintpatricksday
Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically. -Dave Barry Women
