One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know. -Groucho Marx Morning
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. -Groucho Marx Life
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx Pet
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy. -Groucho Marx Relationship
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. -Groucho Marx Happiness
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. -Groucho Marx Art
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. -Groucho Marx Medical
