I was an English major at the University of Minnesota, and I was very shy, which many people misinterpreted as intelligence. On the basis of that wrong impression, I became the editor of the campus literary magazine. -Garrison Keillor Intelligence
Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average. -Garrison Keillor Women
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted. -Garrison Keillor Parenting
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. -Garrison Keillor Funny
Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore. -Garrison Keillor Funny
I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline, to let the adrenaline pick you up on Friday morning and carry you through, to cook up a monologue about Lake Wobegon and get to the theater on time. -Garrison Keillor Morning
I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy. -Garrison Keillor Age
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. -Garrison Keillor Food
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. -Garrison Keillor Life
Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore. -Garrison Keillor Death
Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then. -Garrison Keillor Chance
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. -Garrison Keillor Christmas
Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore. -Garrison Keillor Humor
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. -Garrison Keillor Good
Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then. -Garrison Keillor God
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. -Garrison Keillor Forgiveness
Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then. -Garrison Keillor Thankful
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. -Garrison Keillor Sad
