We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup. Jerry Seinfeld Good
To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving. Jerry Seinfeld Life
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. Jerry Seinfeld Christmas
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld Funny
Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers. Jerry Seinfeld Funny
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. Jerry Seinfeld Funny
We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup. Jerry Seinfeld Great
Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there. Jerry Seinfeld Anger
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' Jerry Seinfeld Birthday
Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome. Jerry Seinfeld Marriage
Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it. Jerry Seinfeld Humor
Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death. Jerry Seinfeld Death
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld Amazing
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.' Jerry Seinfeld Women
