I have always maintained a strong opposition to marriage because I would have to be in serious denial to pretend I wasn't born with a personality for divorce. Whatever the opposite of amicable is, that's how my breakups tend to play out.

- Chelsea Handler

Everywhere I go, people ask me about Jennifer Aniston's wedding. Everywhere I go. I always say to her, I'm like, 'Being friends with you is a burden. You think it's hard to be friends with me?'

- Chelsea Handler

Can you imagine peaking as a teen? I think if you peak in high school, there's a problem. That's what my sister always said: 'Don't worry, you'll peak later.'

- Chelsea Handler

I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.

- Chelsea Handler

I wanted to be famous. It's embarrassing to admit, but I came out to L.A. thinking it would happen in no time. I thought, 'Once they see me, they'll be so glad I came.' I always had a ridiculous amount of self-confidence about what was going to happen to me.

- Chelsea Handler

The love that comes from friendship is the underlying facet of a happy life.

- Chelsea Handler

Anyone who's married to Mariah Carey - I'm pretty sure - doesn't have a great sense of humor. I mean, let's be honest: she's ridiculous. What is her game plan?

- Chelsea Handler

I've always had a big personality. I was trickier as a kid. I behaved erratically instead of consistently. I would have tons of friends, and then I would have no friends. I'd be with the cool girls, then the uncool girls. I migrated from group to group because I was bored or people got bored with me. I was very intense.

- Chelsea Handler

E! has just become a sad, sad place to live. They don't know what they're doing; they have no ideas... everything they do just is a failure.

- Chelsea Handler

E! has just become a sad, sad place to live. They don't know what they're doing; they have no ideas... everything they do just is a failure.

- Chelsea Handler