I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope.

- Jerry Lewis

I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already.

- Jerry Lewis

I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.

- Jerry Lewis

I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream, when I lock into someone or something, you can't get me away from it because I commit that thoroughly. That's in friendship, that's a deal, that's a commitment. Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life.

- Jerry Lewis

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

- Jerry Lewis

I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream, when I lock into someone or something, you can't get me away from it because I commit that thoroughly. That's in friendship, that's a deal, that's a commitment. Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life.

- Jerry Lewis

I never got a formal education. So my intellect is my common sense. I don't have anything else going for me. And my common sense opens the door to instinct.

- Jerry Lewis

People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.

- Jerry Lewis

I've had great success being a total idiot.

- Jerry Lewis

If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well.

- Jerry Lewis