The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper. - Ron White 1 Share Now -
Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane. - Ron White 2 Share Now -
My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy. - Ron White 3 Share Now -
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. - Ron White 4 Share Now -
If you become famous and don't have a live show to back it up, they're not going to pay you any money. - Ron White 5 Share Now -
If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being true to their nature... that's what takes a long time to learn. - Ron White 6 Share Now -
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more. - Ron White 7 Share Now -
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong. - Ron White 8 Share Now -
