In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money... and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn't very good at it. Adam Carolla Architecture
You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society. Adam Carolla Society
If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life. Adam Carolla Business
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn't imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I'm gone for six days it feels like too much. Adam Carolla Christmas
If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life. Adam Carolla Family
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor. Adam Carolla Patriotism
I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is. Adam Carolla Health
Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff. Adam Carolla Women
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.' Adam Carolla Funny
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was? Adam Carolla Funny
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.' Adam Carolla Humor