Sheep farming is heavily subsidized in Great Britain. Without the subsidies, the green grazing in the valley of the River Exe would be gone. The handsome agricultural landscape of which the British are so proud, carefully husbanded since Boudicca's day, would be replaced by natural growth. The most likely growth is real-estate developments. P. J. O'Rourke Great
All religions must be made child-proof. Our teachers' unions have done good work in this field, K through 12. Delaying first communions and bar mitzvahs until age 21 would be another positive step. P. J. O'Rourke Positive
What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it's so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I've received a spam text. P. J. O'Rourke Space
There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring. P. J. O'Rourke Sports
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. P. J. O'Rourke Government
Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. P. J. O'Rourke Government
There's a love of rhetorical skill in the Muslim world. Osama bin Laden doesn't just go on tape cassettes and say, 'America sucks.' He recites poetry; he finds things that 'America sucks' rhymes with. P. J. O'Rourke Poetry
Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum. P. J. O'Rourke Positive
Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society. P. J. O'Rourke Society
Tom DeLay may or may not have broken campaign finance laws, but he did his best to look like he was breaking them. P. J. O'Rourke Finance
If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it's a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also - to do the lawn and clean the gutters. P. J. O'Rourke Government
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. P. J. O'Rourke History
My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow... he wasn't evil or anything, but he was worthless. P. J. O'Rourke Dad
I blame feminism and Facebook for the death of the American automobile. I'm a Republican, so I blame everything on feminism - or commies. P. J. O'Rourke Death
Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. P. J. O'Rourke Death
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it. P. J. O'Rourke Government
Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have. P. J. O'Rourke Government