I do kabbalistic meditation. It's not unlike time travel; it can change the past and not just the future. You can look at what was lost and go beyond the grief of what was lost. -Roseanne Barr Travel
And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny. -Roseanne Barr Humor
My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel. -Roseanne Barr Hope
I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself. -Roseanne Barr Marriage
Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with. -Roseanne Barr Space
Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce. -Roseanne Barr Marriage
My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel. -Roseanne Barr War
I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool. -Roseanne Barr Cool
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego. -Roseanne Barr Mom
I know that I pay 48 percent of my income to taxes. You know, I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't going just to export war. If it was actually going to help the people of the United States, I would gladly pay more. -Roseanne Barr War
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job. -Roseanne Barr Parenting
Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with. -Roseanne Barr Women
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job. -Roseanne Barr Home
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive? -Roseanne Barr Anger
Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my god that question and She answered, 'Hey, why not you Roseanne?' Indeed, why not each of us? -Roseanne Barr Intelligence
