So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.' -Tommy Cooper Car
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience! -Tommy Cooper Marriage
A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.' -Tommy Cooper Age
