It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?' -David Sedaris Birthday
The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons. -David Sedaris Humor
I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone. -David Sedaris Morning
When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard. -David Sedaris Humor
I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer. -David Sedaris Funny
My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining. -David Sedaris Family
