It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?' David Sedaris Birthday
The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons. David Sedaris Humor
I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone. David Sedaris Morning
When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard. David Sedaris Humor
I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer. David Sedaris Funny
My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining. David Sedaris Family