A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success. Robert Orben Graduation
Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years. Robert Orben Humor
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right? Robert Orben Politics
Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down. Robert Orben Government
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. Robert Orben Society
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself. Robert Orben Valentinesday
I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff. Robert Orben Humor
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. Robert Orben Health
Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected. Robert Orben Parenting
Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. Robert Orben Morning
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. Robert Orben Business
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. Robert Orben Funny
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh. Robert Orben Humor
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success. Robert Orben Success