The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.' Richard Branson Funny
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein Funny
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett Funny
I do find things funny. When you see life through the eyes of someone with a good sense of humor, which my grandmother did, life is a human comedy. George Takei Funny
You know what's funny is, when I made 'Saw,' I got accused of being a fascist; when I made 'Insidious,' I got accused of being godless, and now I made the 'Conjuring' films, and I'm accused of being too much God. James Wan Funny
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. W. H. Auden Funny
I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me. Ellen DeGeneres Funny